Official Dachshund You Cant Fix Stupid But You Can Numb It With A 24 Shirt_classic T Shirt Sweater
$20.99
Size Guide
How to measure your shirt correctly?
Width: Lay the shirt flat on the ground (preferably a hard surface) and smooth the fabric out so that there are no wrinkles underneath or on top. Pull the fabric tight, but don’t stretch it. Place the measuring tape at the top of the seam where the sleeve attaches to the body of the shirt and measure across to the same point on the other side of the shirt. Don’t worry if you measure beyond the side seam on the shirt, just measure the shirt flat across.
Length: Lay the shirt flat on the ground with the back of the shirt facing up. Place the measuring tape at the seam where the collar band attaches to the yoke (the fabric that sits across the shoulders) and measure straight down the middle of the back of the shirt to the hem at its longest point.
Sleeve Length: Lay the shirt flat with the back facing up. Extend the right sleeve out to the side and smooth it out as much as possible. Start the tape measure at the middle of the yoke, just below the collar band and measure out to the seam where the yoke attaches to the sleeve. Place a finger on the measuring tape at the seam where the yoke attaches to the sleeve to keep it in place, and then pull the tape measure taut to the end edge of the cuff on the sleeve.
Unit of measure: inches
Note: The design shown in this listing may appear slightly blurred due to web optimization, but rest assured that the final print will be created with a much sharper, high-resolution design. All shirts are printed on one side by default. If you would like a custom two-sided print, please contact us for a special order.
- Description
- The product is manufactured based on the buyer’s idea, and we are fully exempt from any responsibility regarding the idea and design of the product.
Official Dachshund You Cant Fix Stupid But You Can Numb It With A 24 Shirt_classic T Shirt Sweater
The dachshund, elongated and impossibly smooth, wasn’t just wearing the shirt; he *was* the shirt. The fabric flowed seamlessly from his caramel fur, a swirling vortex of cotton and canine. He dreamt in shades of vintage heather grey, a landscape populated by sentient sausages wearing tiny mortarboards and chanting philosophical limericks about the futility of arguing with squirrels. His tail thumped a rhythmic, melancholic beat against the floor, a slow drum solo accompanying the silent movie playing behind his closed eyelids. The “24” wasn’t a number; it was a portal, a shimmering gateway to a realm where the only law was the Law of Unintended Consequences, and the currency was belly rubs. He imagined himself, the Official Dachshund, dispensing wisdom (mostly consisting of encouraging naps) to bewildered garden gnomes and philosophical pigeons. The sweater part of the dream was a comforting weight, a woolen blanket woven from the sighs of a thousand weary souls, a reminder that even in the face of profound silliness, a little numbness, a little quiet comfort, was sometimes the only answer.
INTERNATIONAL SHIPPING
- We Ship Worldwide
- Ships from United States
Please verify your address before placing your order.
PROCESSING TIME
The standard processing time is 1-2 business days. We usually process and ship out the orders the same or next business day. It may take additional days if orders have to go through customs.
SHIPPING TIME
United States:
- USPS First-Class Mail (2-6 days) Domestic
- USPS Priority Mail (1-4 days) Domestic
International Shipping
- Standard shipping: 14 – 21 business days delivery (usually carried by DHL)
EXPRESS DELIVERY
We have express delivery method, however to ensure accurate delivery time we only support customers who contact us before ordering. And if you have any questions please let us know by emailing us at [email protected]
