Official When The National Guard Arrives The Crime Dies T Shirt Sweater

Brenda prided herself on being prepared for anything. So, when her book club decided on a “Dress as Your Biggest Fear” theme, she knew exactly what to wear: her “Official When The National Guard Arrives The Crime Dies T Shirt Sweater.” It was less about fearing the National Guard and more about the sheer, unapologetic dorkiness of owning such a garment.

The problem arose when she tried to dramatically reveal her costume. She’d planned a slow, theatrical unzipping of her coat, revealing the intimidating (and slightly too-small) sweater. Instead, the zipper snagged, refusing to budge. Brenda tugged, then yanked, sweat beading on her forehead. Finally, with a mighty roar, the zipper gave way, launching the coat (and Brenda) backward. She landed in a heap, the “Official When The National Guard Arrives The Crime Dies T Shirt Sweater” riding halfway up her neck, effectively strangling her.

From the floor, muffled by patriotic fleece, she heard Beatrice wheeze, “Are you…are you supposed to be…suffocating under the weight of societal expectations?” Brenda just groaned. Her biggest fear had become reality: embarrassing herself in front of her book club.

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PROCESSING TIME

The standard processing time is 1-2 business days. We usually process and ship out the orders the same or next business day. It may take additional days if orders have to go through customs.

SHIPPING TIME

United States:

USPS First-Class Mail (2-6 days) Domestic
USPS Priority Mail (1-4 days) Domestic

International Shipping

Standard shipping: 14 – 21 business days delivery (usually carried by DHL)

EXPRESS DELIVERY

We have express delivery method, however to ensure accurate delivery time we only support customers who contact us before ordering. And if you have any questions please let us know by emailing us at [email protected]