Official Minion Join Palms Im Not Rude Im Selectively Nice And You Werent Selected Jerk T Shirt Sweater

Agnes, bless her cotton socks, had decided today was the day to become a street performer. Her chosen instrument? A kazoo. Her chosen costume? The “Official Minion Join Palms Im Not Rude Im Selectively Nice And You Werent Selected Jerk T Shirt Sweater,” generously loaned (against his better judgement) by her Uncle Barry.

Barry, meanwhile, was across the street at the bakery, mortified. He’d only worn the sweater ironically! Now his niece was out there, kazooing a surprisingly accurate rendition of “Baby Shark” while sporting his passive-aggressive Minion apparel.

The mishap occurred when Agnes, mid-kazoo solo, attempted a dramatic bow. The oversized sweater, combined with the slick pavement, sent her sprawling. The kazoo went flying, landing squarely in the open bag of a nearby shopper, who promptly shrieked, thinking it was some kind of bizarre, yellow, plastic rodent. Agnes, scrambling to her feet, dusted off the “weren’t selected, jerk” portion of the sweater and yelled, “It’s just a kazoo! And I AM selectively nice! Just ask my Uncle Barry!” Barry promptly ducked behind a display of croissants, wishing he’d just bought Agnes a ukulele.

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